Gulps of freshly squeezed orange juice soothe me as I sit in my home office, after a heavy workout. I hear the familiar chatter get louder as the sun goes down, a typical evening in my household. But I cannot join them, for I have miles to go before I sleep, quite literally. As the Creative Director at XYZ Design, I have to roll out a promotional campaign within the next 48 hours, the biggest one I’ve worked on so far. 

And that is not it. I also have to finalise a pitch for the Indian Education Foundation’s ABC grant. My proposal, if accepted, would raise funds for the education of innumerable young children of India. 

I hear a knock on my door. It’s my partner, calling me for dinner. I desperately wish I could join my family, but I cannot today. 

“Would you mind if I eat later?” I ask, as a yawn escapes my mouth. 

“Just make sure you eat well.” is the response. 

As I am left alone, I feel the day’s exhaustion kick in and my mind begins to wander. Should I really be running after a grant that might easily be rejected? Is it worth spending so much time and energy into something that might take aeons to actually make a difference? Should I be reevaluating my priorities? Maybe I should just stick to my current, high paying job?

My phone’s ding snaps me back into reality. 

I hastily check if it was an alarm or a reminder text from my boss. My face lights up as I see a notification from Google Photos instead. I see a young Prarthana, all dressed in her best saree for grad day, surrounded by friends and family. I feel so proud of myself from 10 years ago – an introverted student with few connections but a tough spirit. I realise I have fulfilled most of my primary goals, I have a well paying job doing work that gratifies me, I am emotionally fulfilled, and I am being recognised as a reputed designer and person. 

I realise that it indeed is the time to take a leap the way my younger self did and to step out of my comfort zone. It might be difficult, frustrating, and even hopeless at times. What would it be like to actually fulfil the dreams of my 22 year old self who wrote in a letter to herself at the beginning of her master’s programme that she wanted to design for social change? I can afford to make a few mistakes, I can afford to lose some time, and I can afford to grow out of my discomfort. 

I tie my hair into a high pony and get back to work, determined, that I have the brains, means, and motivation to get that grant and to something that really matters to me.